SageySquatch
By getting answers from Bigfoot, of course!
Launch the app for an easy escape from boring regularity, when you'd normally be staring at the clock. Saw an annoying message online? Take a detour into the woods and delve into the depths of the dark and the fascinating. Have a phone call you don't want to make? Lock in for some sage wisdom and alarming conspiracies instead.
Our great sage can be a bit silly too, at times, but try not to judge him. He's been through a lot, and the new job doesn't pay much. Still, he loves what he does. And according to his resume, that includes:
Fortune telling
Words of wisdom
Silly Bigfoot sayings
Cryptid identification
Conspiracy theories
Thoughts on humans
Romance advice
Irrational predictions
Beyond that, Bigfoot is a perfectionist who is always working at his craft. The list of his capabilities will only be growing – he's pretty much guaranteed it.
Ask, and he will tell! Just no photos, please. (edited)
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Message @DMofCMD
